Coronavirus might have taken us away from our loved ones, but there is something surprising that people are craving now: alone time.
The various lockdowns have been all different from each other, and the isolation experience can change dramatically depending on your housing situation. We have been talking extensively during the last year about how the global pandemic is having a terrible effect on the mental health of people spending lockdown alone. On the other side of the coin though, there is a number of people suffering from a new type of bother: aloneliness.
The term aloneliness has been coined by psychologist Dr. Rob Coplan and his team of researchers from Carleton University, in Ottawa, Canada. In his study, Dr. Coplan says: “Aloneliness is conceptualised as the negative feelings that arise from the perception that one is not spending enough time alone.”
The results of the study confirm that there is a direct correlation between the time we spend alone with ourselves and our general wellbeing. But it’s important to notice that not all time alone is created equal. Loneliness is the feeling we observe when we are alone, but we don’t want to be; while aloneliness is the feeling of wanting to be alone, without having the possibility of doing so.
Even though I am so grateful to be spending this time of semi-isolation with my husband (and our cat) and not by myself, I have recently discovered that the feeling of uneasiness I have experienced in the last couple of weeks was due to the phenomenon described so well by Dr. Coplan – I was craving time alone more than I was longing for travels or restaurant dinners.
Following Julia Cameron’s method of the three pages from her best-selling book The Artist’s Way – three pages to write every day, first thing – I realised that some early morning time alone could dramatically change my mood and boost my productivity during the day. It came to me that, if my husband had his daily run to spend some time with himself, I had no activity that required me to be alone.
Carving more time for myself ultimately improved my mood and made me a nicer housemate. Next time you feel like you need to escape to be by yourself for a bit, know that you are not the only one.
