With a surge of dating apps usage, especially by young women, it’s essential to stop and check in with ourselves to protect our mental health.
The world of virtual dating is hard to navigate. It can be great fun, leading to exhilarating experiences or, at the very least, some short-term texting entertainment. But sometimes, these apps can take over, consuming us and demanding too much time and attention.
How do you know when it’s time to put your phone down and shift your focus to other things for a while? When your mental health starts to suffer in relation to virtual dating, you can feel out of control and anxious. We delve into the signs that suggest a break from dating apps will be beneficial to you. Tom can wait; your wellness can’t.
Your day revolves around notifications
He sent a message! You have got a new match! If your mood becomes dependent on these instant gratification highs, it might be time to take a break from dating apps and virtual dating. You might find yourself waiting with bated breath, eagerly checking to see if Chris has read your message about Harry Potter yet. Or perhaps you feel addicted to the attention and the intimacy dating brings.
Becoming consumed by one area of life can throw you off balance. Has your screen time doubled since last week, with Hinge being the number one culprit? If this happens, take a break and make a conscious effort to rebalance other areas of your life. Look up from your phone and practice mindfulness, enjoying the present moment rather than drowning in the courting game.
Obsessing over your profile or staying up until the early hours of the morning swiping incessantly are signs that it could be time to press pause on online dating. It shouldn’t come as a priority over friends, family, sleep or hobbies. If you find yourself binning your routine for the chance of a new match, it might be
time to delete dating apps for a while.
You feel drained rather than excited
On the flip side, are you dreading opening up Tinder to find a sea of ‘you up?’ messages? Dating apps can get overwhelming, purely from the number of people you come into contact with and have to repeat your life synopsis to.
Your social battery can be drained from online communication as well as in-person interactions, so it’s okay if you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the guys waiting eagerly for your replies, as cute as they may be. Craving space? Grant yourself freedom. If you’re already feeling at max capacity, don’t bother with the rollercoaster that is virtual dating for now.
Dating apps should be light-hearted fun, not anxiety-inducing soul-suckers. If you’re no longer enjoying dating apps, don’t use them. You’re not obliged to be online, and you aren’t missing out if you log off, despite what the online world might make you think.
You seek distraction from real life
Dating apps might be a fun pastime, but if not regulated, you risk becoming dependent on them as a form of escapism from your troubles.
Modern-day living has a lot of us feeling anxious on a regular basis, and dating apps can sometimes just add fuel to the fire. Even though your anxiety isn’t rooted in the apps themselves, you may turn to them as a distraction from the rest of your life, which is a dangerous game to play.
Human beings crave escapism, but healthy habits go a long way in keeping us sane. When online dating use turns toxic and acts as your only opportunity for connection with others, it’s time to consider different methods of distraction. It’s best to approach dating from a secure, grounded position rather than drenched in need. The people you’re talking to don’t deserve to be used as escapism and you have the potential to indulge in other hobbies than will better help your mental health and personal balance.
Remember, like other social media platforms, these apps are designed to reel you in and keep you hooked for as long as possible. Take control of your dating life and your mental health by becoming more in tune with yourself and nourishing other areas of your life.
Your confidence is taking a hit
Online dating can be fun and provide a huge confidence boost, but when it leans the other way, it can be almost debilitating. Sexual attraction is a complex phenomenon, and the dating world can be cruel.
Perhaps you’re struggling to cope with a virtual rejection, or your profile hasn’t been getting many matches lately. These kinds of situations could result in you subconsciously attempting to combat your low self-esteem by lowering your standards.
This form of chipping away at your potential can become a vicious cycle and can end up damaging your mental health. If you find your confidence buckling under the pressure of online dating, it’s time to distance yourself for a bit. Call a friend instead who can remind you of your worth or indulge in a hobby that makes you feel great.
It just doesn’t work for you
Perhaps online dating just isn’t for you. Do you find yourself talking to friends and not getting the hype about dating apps? Or maybe you sit there bored out of your mind attempting to connect with people on Bumble but would much rather be baking or chatting to your mum.
Dating apps aren’t for everyone, and that’s okay! There’s no obligation to use them. You’re allowed to delete them from your phone, temporarily or permanently. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to be logged on and flaunting your stuff. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.
Remember, you are a whole, multifaceted human being outside of a selection of curated photographs and a character-limited bio for somebody to swipe upon. If the enjoyment wavers, focus on other stuff for a while. Pick up that book, take the dog for a long walk and leave your phone at home, or focus on your career. And then, only when you’re ready, you can get back out there on your terms and have some fun.
Images: RF Studio / Etut Subiyanto
