Taking good care of ourself is more complex than indulging in a bubble bath a week. A writer shares her five top tips that will help you make the life-changing transformation into your authentic self. Get ready to embrace your authenticity.
If you’ve ever felt out of touch with who you really are (authentic self), you’re not alone. Continuously trying to be someone you’re not and living up to the expectations of others is exhausting and can take a huge toll on your mental health. It’s human nature to seek validation from others and attempt to fit in, but when this attitude reins over your life and you begin to lose yourself in the process, it’s time to make a change.
To help you finally take care of your authentic self, we’ve put together the five steps you need to rekindle the connection with your true nature and finally embrace who you really are.
Self-awareness
The first step on this momentous journey is to acknowledge that a change is needed. Are you a serial people-pleaser? Do you feel lonely and disconnected from your own life? Do you feel like you’ve lost touch with the real you? It’s time to accept you have been living life inauthentically. It can be hard to realise this and even harder to admit to it. But you actively seeking information about it and questioning yourself is the first step on the magical journey of rediscovering you.
Write things down, sit with the discomfort and try to accept where you are in this moment in time. This stage can be terrifying, bringing up old wounds and deeply embedded insecurities. But by becoming self-aware you are opening yourself up to the possibility of transformation.
Revisit your childhood
Start by questioning your lifestyle and interests. What do you really like? What really brings you joy – real joy – as opposed to the temporary high of pleasing others?
A foolproof way of unearthing your authenticity is by reconnecting to your childhood ways. Ask yourself what you loved when you were small, what got your senses going. Did you love sports? Exploring in the woods? Pulling things apart to see what makes them tick? Writing, drawing, cars or fantasy kingdoms?
Our childhood antics often point to our true nature, before the world told us who we should be. Before all the popular kids snarled at your geeky ways or your parents shrugged off your future dreams. Who were you before society told you who to be?
By rediscovering who you were and what you liked when knee-high to a grasshopper you can start to reconnect to your true, authentic self.
Pursue your interests relentlessly
So you’ve recalled your real interests and passions, now go and do what you love. And I cannot stress this point enough. Do it unapologetically. Prioritise the hell out of it, indulge in it and get lost in it. These raw, uninhibited curiosities will add dimension and meaning to your life, whilst naturally stimulating your soul and providing endless fulfilment.
We often find ourselves doing what others like, or what we feel is expected of us. And although there will always be an element of duty in life with social responsibilities of some kind, by filling the spare time you do have with the activities that set your soul on fire you will be scratching that magical itch that resides within you. No more hiding, faking or diluting. That’s the experience of living life to the full.
Find your tribe
Now that you have started prioritising what you love above all else, go and find others who love it too. No matter how niche, bizarre or fantastical our hobbies and interests are, there are people around the globe that are just as passionate as we are. By simply doing the cool stuff that you’re into, you’ll meet other like-minded people along the way.
If you have so far surrounded yourself only with people whose personalities matched your masked, diluted, ‘society approved’ lifestyle, you will find great relief in discovering people who share your quirks and love the things you love.
Even if your interests are solitary activities with not much space for meeting others, you can still join community groups, browse MeetUp.com, shout from the rooftops. Find the people who share your soul fibres and bask in the unity, joy and comfort it brings.
Live intuitively
At this point, you should be finally doing what you love with people who think you are amazing. Now is the time to learn to observe yourself like a fly on the wall and begin living the life you deserve, in tune with yourself. Check-in with the inner you regularly throughout the day, asking questions like: does this serve the real me? Does this person share my values? Does this decision align with who I am, at my core?
Reflect at the end of each week and make note of any inauthentic tendencies or people-pleasing behaviour that you might be succumbing to. And just make the adjustments needed to get back on track to living your most authentic life.
If you can master even some of the above, you’ll begin to feel the internal shift and life will become so much more fulfilling. Bye-bye loneliness and fear, hello passion and freedom. By continuing to live true to yourself, you will reap the benefits of being the one and only you.
Images: Anna Shvets
